Why is there a Black People Meet.com?

As a person who is not the creator of Black People Meet.com I cannot speak on the specific reasons why the creators made this website but what I can say is in defense of it why it is a very necessary website.

I had seen a post on Facebook stating that having a Black People Meet.com is racist. Some would argue that having a White People Meet.com would be racist therefore there should not be any exclusive race meeting websites.

Once again: the minority argument is an appropriate circumstance here.

Apart from any person who legit solely want to exclusively date black people the reality is that as minorities we don’t have the same pool of people to choose from and that’s not a fair distribution of options. If white people make up roughly 70+% of the population in the USA and let’s say a random person got to pick from a handful of 100 bachelors to date that means that over 70 of them would be white.

Why is that a problem?

Because they are not receiving an even distribution to choose from.

Granted there will be no website where a person will receive an even distribution: 33% Black bachelors, 33% White Bachelors and 33% Asian bachelors (and I’m excluding Latinos because they are an ethnic group, not a race and Native Americans because they only make up about 2% of the population in the USA.)

If the racial disparaities doesn’t communicate my point, picture this:

I tell you that you can choose any candy you want from a pile of candies. I present 7 twizzlers, one gumball, one lollipop and one chocolate bar.

Is that a fair distribution? Can you choose the candy you really want based on what has been presented?

Several problems are happening here.

While with white people you have a large number you have a better chance of finding different kinds of white people, here’s one who likes rock, one who is Presbyterian, one who snowboards on the weekends, one who is all business, and one who is a comedian. Well guess what, if you only get a small pool of whatever race your in you don’t get a wide range of personalities, character traits or interests simply due to demographics.

I’m a nerdy black girl so I’m looking for someone who shares nerdy interests. If I all of the sudden made a statement that I don’t date black guys because there are no nerdy black guys because I haven’t met any that is false.

Of the few black guys that I meet on a daily basis in general there probably won’t be many nerdy ones. It also depends on environment. Sure there are probably some closet DBZ fans in the hood but since nerdiness is considered a “White” thing to do they probably won’t be very vocal about it.

I say all this to say that if you are looking for certain traits, interests or characteristics in a partner, ones that may not be culturally accepted or practiced, ones that may even be stigmatized, then you definitely need a bigger pool to choose from to find that specific type of person you’re looking for. Someone that you can share your nerdiness with as well as your culture. That’s something you probably won’t find on a general dating site where there aren’t that many black people to begin with in the first place.

I have been on tinder several times, and swiping through I can see the desparities. I have no issue dating a white person, but the options on the dating sites and apps are definitely very white with very little diversity. It’s not fair for me to not even have fair equal options in dating so creating a website like Black People Meet.com is necessary.

So what about the swirlers? Black People Meet.com will only allow me one pool of people to choose from. It’ll help my find someone specific in that pool but only from the pool alone. Swirlers openly date outside of their race. Again I’m fully open to doing that as well, but I have an issue with exclusively doing that.

People can date who they want and not date who they want, that is true but for me I believe that you can be pro-black love and pro-swirl, you can be both! I support dating within and without the race because I think denying someone a date due to race is stupid!

Now I’m saying this solely based on the fact of love is love and not to deny people based on stereotypes but I am not unaware of issues of racism, prejudice, cultural differences, un-accepting family members and discomfort that can really put a wedge in interracial relationships.

I just wanted to address the non-racist reasons why websites like Black People Meet.com are necessary. It’s to level the playing field, provide an equal, even amount of options, because as minorities, we don’t get a plethora of different kinds of our race to date in our area. In some cases people to live in areas where their race is the main population but for most minorities, that’s not the case. I think everyone should be able to have that chance to choose from a proper distribution otherwise choices will be made due to settling or prejudice bias.

Let’s also not forget the amount of people unwilling to date inter racially. Numbers have increased but while there are minorities who would be open to dating whites, there are whites who are not open to dating minorities. People want to go where they are appreciated and wanted.

Sure, it goes both ways. There are minorities who won’t date whites but again, demographically, there is still plenty others to choose from if that’s the case. For a minority, if whites won’t date them, and there are very few minorities around them, let alone ones interested in dating other minorities, well, they are out of luck.

Our dating circumstances and demographics are not the same. The stereotypes, fetishes and taboos we deal with are not the same. Therefore websites that focus on minorities dating one another should not be targeted or labeled as racist because they are not. We don’t have the same circumstance and we deserve to have an open dating pool where we can see potential partners that share our values and cultures not as one out of ten bachelors or ten out of one hundred, but an equal number, with equal opportunity.

It’s all too easy to form a bias when the demographics are like that on a dating website. How can someone say “All BW and BM are the same?” You’ve only swiped through 5 black people in a 15 minute span of swiping. You haven’t seen that many at all. That’s an unfair judgement.

~Just my thoughts…

 

 

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