What Mystique & Xmen did to resonate deeply with me

 

I am a blurred for what you call a black nerd. I’m a part of several black nerd or blood groups and POC groups online. Many of these groups will celebrate the few Heroes of color in comics for several reasons. I would like to highlight Mystique who yes is not a black character but a character with whom I can deeply relate. There were many elements to Mustique as far as being a woman who can change her appearance to whatever benefits the situation. I am not a chameleon and I cannot change my skin however I am a light skinned black person and that with in and of itself give some space to either hide parts of Blackness or receive benefits of privilege of being perceived as better or wider in society. Many people have mistaken me for being mixed and have told me to my face that they do not believe me when I tell them that I am black and born to two black parents. Mystique suffered a lot and was not fully secure in herself in the past and usually took on an appearance of a human being. It was Magneto that told her that she was beautiful as she is and she was also told that all the energy that she was using to appear human was energy that she could use to develop her own strength. There was also the scene with a character for whom I forget his name who told her that she ought to change herself so that she can feel beautiful and he felt that he was helping her but he was really insulting her natural state. I’ve never really had any skin color issues per se as far as feeling ashamed of being light-skinned but I will say that it has brought an interesting burden as far as Feeling unwelcomed by both white and black. Even though I am not mixed I have what is perceived to be the appearance of a mixed person and so many people assume do to my complexion as well as my intelligence and articulation and extended vocabulary and education likes and dislikes that I am mixed race. X-Men adds another element to the story that focuses on the feelings of the LGBT community and as a woman of color who was also part of that Community I really resonated with mystique’s constant hiding of her identity because unlike skin color sexuality is something that you can hide from people. Hiding sexuality does take a lot of energy and it’s exhausting and self-deprecating. I only feel like I’m half there when I feel like I can’t reveal that part of me and no it’s not a part of me that eclipses everything else over takes my life but it is an aspect of my identity and which is very important to me. Well I’m a Believer in dating and romance as being Best Kept private because it’s personal I know that depending on what gender My Chosen partner is that it will greatly affect my life and friendships. Knowing that there is a possibility that I could end up in a same-sex relationship that is beyond dating it would be an important thing to mention to my peers who may not feel comfortable being in association with someone who is or could be involved in a same-sex relationship. In general I don’t seek Out friends who are against those kinds of things but I do end up in friendships with people who are and I usually either don’t bring it up or simply tell them give them the decision of ending the friendship or I try to end the Friendship myself before I get rejected and we never speak about it again and just agree to disagree. I honestly hate this and I honestly hate that there are even people that I have to go through this emotional trauma with. I wish that I knew who was okay with it and who wasn’t okay with it and just be friends with the people who are okay with it because honestly even though we’re allowed to disagree as friends the problem is that depending on who I’m in a relationship with I wouldn’t be able to speak about a relationship with someone that I deeply love with someone whom I consider a friend. And that’s a big problem if I can’t even bring up my own life my own fiancé my own girlfriend someone whose beloved to me that I can’t even I have to cut out this big chunk of my life that I can’t even share with someone who I consider a friend. I know that I have friends that I can tell everything but I consider my best friends the ones whom I can tell everything. Mystique is a character in which I can relate to as a black bisexual female and she’s a character in which I can relate to you and all three of those aspects that are a dynamic and complex existence for me. I will speak about how the other X-Men characters are relatable to me but Mystique is certainly one that I highly admire.

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